Monday, May 7, 2012

First day at three

Today it was a regular day in Wisconsin. Humid like Miami and windy like Kansas. However, my day was not a regular day. I was taking care of three kids, my own and another little boy. Believe me the time went by so slow, the art projects I planed for the day lasted ten minutes or less and on top of that anybody took a nap. I was highly contemplating the possibility to put a movie on, a long long long movie. But the guilt was killing me and I denied the option.
Growing up as an only child, everybody has time for you... aunts, uncles, cousins, friends, everybody want to hand out with you and bring you everywhere. When you are a second or third or four child the story change... I guess. I wanted my daughter to fell like the only child despite the bird of Isaac but it was an impossible task. The time shrinks, arrant takes longer than before and I run off energy earlier than ever.
Isis though manages to act like a growing up girl (she even say it over and over) despite the fact that she still sleeps with a "BABA" or two. She can dress by herself, brush her teeth, take a snack from the fridge and remember exactly the way back from the park to the house.
The third one though it is not mine. The third one is a job babysitting which make me wonder HOW I GOT TO THIS POINT!? I can't stop comparing him with my kids and how well I taught them some simple things like holding a fork or pulling their pants up. I am not celebrating myself, oh well! maybe a little. After sleepless nights and many many many freak outs I deserve a pad on my back even if it comes from me.

That is not a self recognition, it is self love for something well done. There I said it!
As the first day with three kids went by I realized that teaching kids is really hard, specially if they are not your kids. I can dictate a detail agenda to Isis and she will follow. Even if the dictatorship method is not quite the best but I will achieve my goal: PEACE AND NO STRESS. With someone else kid I simply can't.  Therefore I just contemplated the THIRD KID behavior thinking I should correct some things. Finally, I just watched how he run around the room when I read, saw him dropping all the Mac and cheese in the floor and playing with one toy all day. I was a BAD MOTHER even though I am not his mother. Was I?

Maybe... or maybe not because there is this huge misconception about mothers that HAVE TO TEACH SOMETHING mixed with the motherhood stereotype which make you TELL YOUR KIDS WHAT TO DO ALL THE TIME. Mothers need to teach, teach at least something. Really? mothers can also teach to laugh, giggle, have fun and be messy. I still have deep doubts about perfect motherhood. I believe WE ARE ALL PERFECT MOTHERS, we do the best we can and we do it very well. Even though this is a cliche, it is a truth cliche. We are givers, teachers, dictators, leaders and ultimately ACHIEVERS OF PERFECT MOTHERHOOD.

There are three kids of motherhood I enjoy though...

               The one that DOES IT ALL, teach frantically, clean intensively and demand the best of her kids. Buy all the cutting, pasting, tracing and coloring books in the store. Bring the kids to the story times in the library and bake every Holiday. That may be me at some times.

              The RELAX ONE, the one that likes to chill with her kids. She zips martinis in play dates and read the NYTimes in her IPad while ballet class is happening.  She tickles and dances before bed time and there is not even bed time at her house. Wish I can be her.

              The BALANCE ONE, who teach, listens and plays. She can balance chaos and organization. She takes time for herself and even her husband. She also bring the kids to all sort of classes so she can have a personal life but when they are home she help them to learn about life. We all want to be her.

At last, who ever you are or want to be will have a direct impact in your children lives. Indeed, stress parents create stress children, unorganized parents create unorganized children and so on. But that it is not even half of the truth. Just give it all you have to fell the best mother on earth. It is the best job overall and the most important one. So the third one is not just a job, it is part of my family now... kind of... then I will do my best to don't be a bad mother.

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