Guilt in Mother's Day

      I just read this article "The Clothes on the floor" from Mom 101, one of the best written mommy bloggers. Liz Gumbinner gives an unforgettable picture of missing the lives of her children because of her work. Picking up the piles of clothing wore by her kids remind her how much she misses their lives every day.

Truth.

      And I cannot stop thinking how I refrain of tears when I don't have energy to bring them to the park, cook them a healthy meal, read them a bed time story, give them a bath, sing them a lullaby or give them a proper good night hug because I just want the day to be over. I had enough of crying, screaming, pouting, kicking, scratching, feet throwing day.

Every moment counts!

Guilt.

      If Liz is missing her children's lives. What am I missing? nights out, walks in the Mall, trips to the cities and what else? Fun? I have fun with my children! Tired, no make up  wearing the same rubber brown shoes (my mother in law gave me two pair of those, I know now why: there are easy to put in with kids jumping around you) everyday but happy.

Learning how to be happy with the smallest things in life

Happiness.

      Even when I feel trap in this four walls of my overprice second floor apartment. When I run to the closet for help. When I sit in the bathroom toilet to take a five minutes break. When I don't feel my body because I slept with Isis and Isaac in a twin bed all night (I am aware of the hazard of SIDS) I am somehow content. I can witness their lives. YEAH!! I AM LUCKY.

At last been with them it is what counts

Luck.

      OF THOSE MOMENTS that take your breath like when both Isis and Isaac were just born and the nurse set them in my belly. OH! warmth, incredible feeling of infinitive love. Or when Isis called me MAMA for the first time. Or when Isaac smile in the mornings looking directly at my eyes. I AM FREAKING LUCKY. Not matter the countless bills in collections, my lost green card, my huge student loan debt, the arguments with my husband, the penniless weekends or the overdue electricity bill. It's sacrifice for the best love.

Love.

     Finally, I get it. I understand what Liz means in her article. I understand what my mother mean when she said "YOU WON'T GET IT UNTIL YOU'LL BE A MOM" I get it mom, I do. All these sacrifices we do for our kids are definitely because we love them. So when we feel blue and lonely, let's look at their cute and cutely faces with their huge smiles so innocent that hurts.

Isis and Isaac

                                                                                 Be late HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!